Dark humor is like food. Not everyone gets it.
GG Miller
@ggmiller
If you're that depressed, reach out to someone. And remember, suicide is a permanent solution.
You're not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
I have many jokes about unemployed people—sadly none of them work.
Today, I asked my phone “Siri, why am I still single?” and it activated the front camera.
Why is the ocean so salty? Probably because the land doesn't wave back.
"What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?" "A meltdown."
"Why didn't the skeleton climb the mountain?"
"It didn't have the guts!"
"How do you make 7 even?"
"Take away the s."
Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
"Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it!"
Yo mama so dumb, when the doctor told her she had coronavirus, she bought a new laptop.
"I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something."
"Dad, did you get a haircut?"
"No, I got them all cut!"
What does a sprinter eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast!
Where do fruits go on vacation?
"Pear-is!"
"What did the zero say to the eight?"
"That belt looks good on you!"
What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
"A satisfactory."
"How does dry skin affect you at work?""You don’t have any elbow grease to put into it."
When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
What did Kermit the Frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.