Worst Jokes Ever

When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he's pushing the Earth down.

If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.

The rest of them will write Perl programs.

Yo mama is so nasty, she buys sex toys at the second-hand shop.

Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the beach, the people shout, "Free Willy!"

A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"

The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."

Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.

I'm not saying you're annoying.

But if a yeast infection were a person, it would be you.

I'd make you fall harder than the South Tower.

Question:

Did you hear the one about MAGA people?

Answer:

It "sucks" just like they do!

I think DJT has FTD.

Yo Mama is so fat that Nationwide took nine years to get on her side.

All right, I know one joke. Um, there's a mollusk, see? And he walks up to a sea...

Well, he doesn't walk up, he swims up.

Well, actually, the mollusk isn't moving, he's in one place.

And then the sea cucumber, well, they... I mixed up.

There was a mollusk and a sea cucumber. None of them were walking, so forget that...

There was this mollusk and he walks up to a sea cucumber. Normally they don't talk, sea cucumbers, but in a joke, everyone talks.

So just then, the sea cucumber looks over to the mollusk and says, "With fronds like these, who needs anemones?"

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and orphans?

At least the Twin Towers saw the parents they crashed on.

An orphan walked up to St. June's Family Hospital.

Doctor: "Sorry kid, you can't be in here."

Did you know Kurt had dandruff?

Found his head and shoulders behind the couch.

Girl: "Dad."

Dad: "Do I love you?"

Girl: "I am a prostitute."

Dad: "Yes."

Woman 2: "Dad."

Dad: "Right?"

Woman 2: "I'm a woman too."

Father: "God, do you love children?"

Boy: "Yes..."

New teacher: "I was an orphan when I was young."

Student: "But!"

Teacher: "Is something missing?"

Student: "Your parents!"

On September 11, Gemini ordered three pepperoni pizzas.

One came alone, one was late, and the third went the wrong way.

Your forehead's so big, NASA uses it to test satellite signals.

Your hairline is like the McDonald's logo. It's forming a perfect M.