Worst Jokes Ever

I used to be a baker, but I decided to quit my job and stick my dough inside WOMEN’S bakeries.

I'm reading a book on anti-gravity, it's impossible to PUT DOWN!

What happens when you eat a cat?

I love to eat cats for dinner!

"Demon Slayer" is yay, and who's your favorite in "Demon Slayer"?

Hi, I am Emma. I'm going to Stan.

Doctor: "I'm sorry, but you suffer from a terminal illness and only have 10 to live."

Patient: "What do you mean 10? 10 what? months? weeks?"

Doctor: "9, 8, 7..."

A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.

Why was six afraid of seven?

Because seven eight nine.

I was walking down the street and I punched a white guy and then I was arrested for assault.

The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.

If you're reading this, you are Nickel and Gallium......

Ni- ........*something else in between the two halves*................Ga

YOU FUCKING MONKEYS!

"Sigma" - By every boy in my class.

Life is like a penis: women make it hard for no reason.

I was sitting on my own in a restaurant when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”

There used to be Wonder Woman.

Now we wonder, what is a woman?

What is the difference between Bill Cosby and a rap artist?

The word "art."

Why were the rappers late for their flight?

They forgot to pack.

Who is my favorite underground rapper?

XXX Tentacion

During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents' room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"

I'm reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is about to happen, I can FEEL it!

What’s the key to a successful relationship?

Consent.