How did a man kill his car? He throttled it.
Worst Jokes Ever
What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial abortion.
Don't break someone's heart because they only have one; instead, break their bones... they have 206.
What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.
Why couldn't the chicken cross the road?
Because it was disabled.
Confucius say, "Man who sit in church and fart must sit in pew."
A husband and a wife have four children. The oldest three are tall with blonde hair. The youngest is short with brown hair. The husband was on his deathbed and said, "Honey, can you be completely honest with me? Is our youngest son mine?" The wife says, "I swear to all that is holy, he is your son." Then the husband died and the wife muttered, "Thank god he didn't ask about the other three."
If you humped a whale, it would humpback.
"Florida was ranked the worst state in the 50 states by Thriller."
Florida: Well, WE didn't want to give our oranges anyway!
What’s the most common name for cancer patients?
Luke (leukemia)
What do you call a communist?
Braxton.
When I get naked in the shower, it gets turned on.
How do you finger a feminist? Shake her hand and call her Theresa.
You never told me you were part orangutan. Have you considered taking a vacation to Planet of the Apes?
I bet you love prostate exams because you live things up your ass.
I was trying to poison Santa, but he killed my dad and ate all the cookies! 😤
Did you hear about the guy who made knock-knock jokes? He won the Nobel Prize.
What does a house wear?
A dress.
What do you call terrible milk?
Udder Bullshit.
What do you call a roach in milk?
A roach con leche. 😂