Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the snail paint a big "S" on his car?
Because he wanted people to say look at that S-car go when he rolled by.
What gets louder as it gets smaller?
A baby in a blender.
Whats the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead hookers, i don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
I only listen to waltz 3/4 of the time.
Yo mama so stupid, when her phone dies, she buries it.
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A nectarine.
You wanna hear a joke about my penis?
Never mind, it’s too long.
What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
Beef strokin' off.
More like so they can fuck him, am I right?
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Microchips.
This is the biggest joke ever - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5j-BH_WdBXdzeoOdG2v2dA
So, two condoms walk by a gay bar. What does one condom say to the other? "Hey, wanna get 'shit-faced?'"
Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable (A), beautiful (B), cute (C), delightful (D), elegant (E), fashionable (F), gorgeous (G), and hot (H)."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
Your mama is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it said "Damn!"
What's worse than Aaron with Down syndrome?
Aaron with a rope.
Why does Adam go hockey, you might ask?
In my opinion, he shouldn't go because he is bad, but he needs the armor to protect himself from his own step-dad.
What's terrible? Three dead babies nailed to one tree.
What's worse than that? One dead baby nailed to three trees.
Freshman: Hey, what's better, Ford or Chevy?
Senior: I don't f**kin' care as long as it drives.
Freshman: So, I'm guessing it's Chevy?
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Answer: Depresso.
Why did Aaron's dad beat him? Because he tensed his ass.