Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between your mom and your dad? One leaves your life to go get milk, and the other cleans up after you, feeds you, and does your laundry.
I'm so poor that I had to rob a food bank for a loaf of bread.
What does Stephen Hawking eat for his breakfast, lunch, and dinner?
His shoulder.
What do you call a duck that is addicted to drugs?
A quack head!
My mom must be a duck then...
Q: What do you call a tsunami?
A: Your mom's water breaking.
What is black, white, and red all over?
A dead zebra 🦓
Why do mountains contain things? Because their moun-tains.
Why are hill billies so weird? Because their name is Billy.
There were three cats. The first cat said, "Meow." The second cat said, "Meow." The third cat said, "Meow meow." Then the first cat said, "Don't change the subject!"
I broke the sink yesterday; the handle just blew right off! My dad was so mad, he blew his stack!
There is a ghost baseball game and one team loses because of one player so they start booing him!
A bowman walked into a throne room, and he bowed to him.
A boy walks into some woods with a phone, and his friend comes by and asks, "What are you doing?"
He pauses, then says, "Trying some bird calls!"
Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"
One time I walked into a room and I saw a man and a dwarf, and I soon found out that the man was the dwarf's father, and I noticed that the dwarf really looked up to him.
Why do Indians marry cows? Because they bathe in milk.
Christmas special
Me: Can you describe Mrs. Claus in 3 words? Santa: Ho ho ho.
Just walked in on my parents doing it! Worst 30 minutes of my life.
Bob: usudgbhdkb g
Ham: usudgbhdkb g
What did one orphan say to another? Where's your home?