Climb high, climb far,
Get high, get far.
Worst Jokes Ever
A receptionist at the Twin Towers orders two pepperoni pizzas. She was upset when she got two planes.
So a mushroom walks in a bar and the waiter says, "You can't be here."
And the mushroom says, "Why? I'm a fungi!"
What do you get when you cross a Muslim in a trench coat and a duffel bag?
A sad news story.
My life, lmao.
Friend: My girls are like boomerangs; they always come back.
Me: Mine DON'T :(
"I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday, but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry."
So there was this kid being bullied by four other kids. I decided to step in.
He didn’t stand a chance against the five of us.
This is funny.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
What makes you think feminists can change anything?
"Puta, banana in your ear!"
Two men walk into a bar, and they both hit their heads.
Tuxedos suit you.
I wanna go to Antarctica, but then I got cold feet.
I went to visit my friend's sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him, he kept repeating "Nǐ cǎizhe wǒ de yǎngqì guǎn."
Suddenly, right in front of me, he passed. Later that night, I translated his last words, and they were, "You're standing on my oxygen tube."
A family of three, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”
“Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.
“Let me start,” says the son.
“Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.
“I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.
“Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games.” Says the mom.
“You’re right!” He replies.
“I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”
“Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom.” Says the son.
“The lie isn’t that you’re adopted,” says the dad.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a rock?
A rock can break a glass ceiling.
What is dumb, yo mama, you dumb stupid idiot?
What does the cell ride to work?
A vesicle.
Wanna hear a funny joke?
My life.