Worst Jokes Ever
What's the grossest thing ever?
A bag of dead babies.
What's even more gross?
The bottom one is still wriggling!
My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower.
A man went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "What happened to you?"
The man replied and said, "I broke my arm in two places!"
Then the doctor replied with, "DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!"
What time did the man go to the dentist at? Two-thirty.
That one person who can never bring a smile to your face...
Until you push them down 3 flights of stairs.
What do you call a vegan cow?
A vegan cow. :/
OR
A regular cow. 🐄🙌
My Dad keeps beating me and my mom. Please call the police. My name is Jacob Upchurch.
What do you call a cutta with ginger hair?
Flinn Taylor.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for the fresh prints.
I was walking down the street when I thought I smelled my ex's perfume. Turns out, I was standing in front of a fish market.
I made a website for orphans.
It has no homepage.
Communist jokes suck... unless everyone gets them.
In a normal country, you call it Yugoslavia.
In Soviet Russia, it's called aregoslavia.
In a normal country, you call it Yugoslavia.
In Soviet Russia, it's called yugostravia.
Chemistry joke: Why did the Superman being normal people when a krypton was at him?
Because krypton is "stable."
Why do they put barcodes on the ships in Norway?
Why?
So when they come into port, they can Scan-de-navian.
What is a cow's favorite water sport?
Ca-MOO-ing!
What is black and white and red all over?
... a newspaper!
1111111111122222222
Today I explain what things are fake: serial killers, clowns, Billy, fairies, your life, God, Jesus, your mom, and all your crappy fan-fictions about being saved from your even crappier life.
I'm also gonna explain real stuff: YouTube, your dad, scientists, teachers, God, Jesus, and Billy.
Stuff on both is real and fake depending on who you are. Your life IS fake. A lot of idiots will read this.
My girlfriend is like Toys R Us.
She does not exist.