Worst Jokes Ever
What time is it when a cow sits on your fence? Time to get a new fence!
Who wants to hear the biggest joke ever?
My life.
An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"
Imagine the Russians showing up late to the 1917 revolution with a Tsarbucks in hand. They were late, so I guess they weren't Russian. They were probably Stalin.
Succcccc.
What do you call a fat fortune teller? A four-chin teller.
My joke is so diam funny, or so damn funny.
Dr. Brody: Sir, your son has a disease called boofa.
Dad: What's boofa?
Dr. Brody: Both of these nuts in your mouth.
When God created women, it was an accident. He meant to make a man, but then "WHOA-MAN!!"
What do you call a fruit's penis?
A percock.
What happens when you get a virus-related sickness? It goes viral on Twitter!
When it is quiet when you're having sex and you ask your partner to "Do the roar!"
Bill was on a hill. What a hillbilly!
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Time heals all wounds.
Unless you have AIDS, when time kills you slowly and painfully.
What do you call an Italian dog?
A labra-noodle.
What do you call a dog that fell into the Porta-Potty?
A Corgi Potty.
A ham sandwich walks into a bar, and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
A Roman walks into a bar and orders a martinus. The bartender says, "Don't you mean a Martini?" The Roman then says, "Look, if I want a double, I'll ask for one."
Stormtrooper: Hey Palpatine! Luke is Vader's son.
Palpatine: Knew it.