Worst Jokes Ever
What sayd the man to the woman??
Go to the kitchen lol.
What's so bad about 9 divided by 11?
What's the difference between a dick and a cannon?
Your dick shots longer.
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.
- That girl was hot. - She's my cousin!
Have you ever eaten a clock before? I heard it’s very time consuming.
Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart.
I made sure it didn't outsmart me.
Where do dogs go when their tails fall off?
To the retail store.
My Smoothie Ingredients: - Bananas - Strawberry - The Blood of my ex - Peanut Butter
I got a new pair of gloves today, but they're both 'lefts,' which, on one hand, is great, but on the other, it's just not right.
How do you call a cop?
Through the phone.
(My puns are bad)
Don't scare me! I poop easily!
My diet:
Make all of my friends cupcakes. The fatter they get, the thinner I look...
Do you wanna hear a Gay Joke...
Butt fuck it.
What happens when you combine candy and dick? That creepy guy down the street!
Jake, Tommy, and Mike were adopted. Jake got adopted, Tommy got adopted, and Mike. Mike grew up to be an office worker. So you get a new job, and hear something about this guy named Mike.
The next day you go into the office and Mike is sitting next to you, with unicorns and rainbows and stuff. Then, a co-worker comes up and says, "No one told you Mike was gonna be this GGGAAAAYYYYY!"
Saturn was so loved, someone put a ring on him.
What is the best type of bath bomb?
A toaster.
What do you get when you light Stephen Hawking on fire? A fried PC.
I'm dead inside.
Guy #1 is being picked up by Guy #2 from the hospital.
Guy #1: Oh man, I just got my prostate checked. It's not looking good.
Guy #2: Why, what is it?
Guy #1: Turns out, I have prostate cancer.
Guy #2: Oh man that sucks...
Guy #1: Yeah, it's a real pain in the ass!