Worst Jokes Ever

Corn flake.

Have you heard of the new book about anti-gravity?

Well, I just can't seem to put it down.

We don't have school shooters; we have special ed breeches.

What does a skeleton put on his roof?

Shin-gulls.

What runs faster than Stephen Hawking in his wheelchair?

His Internet.

What did Connor Lys Clark say to Karl Kassulke? "I love bridges!"

I shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.

Q: What did the kid say as he tossed a chair to his neighbor's house?

A: You're the chairman of the board!

Once we went to a light bulb party last night, YO it was freakin lit.

Fuck you, German kids, especially [those who are] alive.

"You look like Barney, I'm choking you too, and your face is turning all purple and blue!"

A doctor slept with one of his patients and thought to himself, "This is wrong, but some doctors do it..." He is a vet.

At night in the Nunnery, one Nun says to the other Nun, "Where's the candle?" The other Nun says, "Doesn't it!"

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 7 seconds. In case you didn't see that one coming, don't feel bad, they didn't either.

What's the difference between sand and food? Africans have plenty of sand.

What is red and green and goes 100 miles per hour?

A frog in a blender.

There was this guy who asked a girl how much her hand jobs are. "$25k." How much are your blowjobs? "$50k." How much do you charge to have sex on the street? REPLY: "I would if I had a pussy."

What do you say when you see a pig making bread?

He's bacon.

Why did the orphan run into the street? To get to the other side of life.

What do you call a cow you can’t see?

Camooflauged.