Worst Jokes Ever
Where are people sent to die?
Ross Hall academy.
What did the dog say to the other dog?
What did the mom say to the baby?
Hi, I am Bill.
Craig Duncan is a child soldier with bad breath and has killed 5 people (on Fortnite).
My teacher told me to have a good day. SOOOOOOOOOO I went home :)
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the Moo-vie theater.
What do cows listen to?
Moo-sic.
The bakery I worked at got robbed. They demanded the dough; apparently, it couldn't be baked first.
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
Answer: Because they never knew what love was.
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
He got hit!
Y'know what's really sad?
Why break the fourth wall when you can turn the third wheel?
What would you find on a haunted beach?
A sand-witch!
"Hey guys, I'm a new jokester, remember my name as I'll be making a lot more!!! P.S. They will be much better than this one!"
Two hunters are walking in the forest together. Hunter #2 flops down, unconscious, and Hunter #1 dials 911.
Operator: "911, what's your emergency?"
Hunter no. 1: "The other hunter, hunting with me in the woods, fell asleep."
Operator: "Check if he's/she's (not assuming genders) dead."
*Operator hears a distant gunshot*
Hunter no. 1: "What do I do next?"
Why did the dead baby cross the road?
It was strapped to the chicken.
Pen15
Why did the tall building fall?
It was September 11th.
I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday.
I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
There were three people on the third floor of a building. The first one took a bite of an apple, then said it was too hard, so he threw it out the window. The second person took a bite of a lemon. He said it was too sour, so he threw it out the window. The third guy was drunk. He took a bite of a grenade and thought it was too crunchy, so he threw it out the window.
Then one of them went downstairs. He saw a dog laying on the ground dead. The apple had hit the dog in the head. Then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap. It had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head. Next, there was an old guy laughing. I asked him why he was laughing. He said, "I farted and the building behind me blew up."
How to make holy water:
1. Grab a pot.
2. Put water in it.
3. Set the stove to 420 degrees.
4. Boil the hell out of it.