Worst Jokes Ever

I ran over my neighbor's cat last night, and I just want to say... that thing was fast! I had to run a red light to get it!

Rice Middle School

MAN 1) Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?

MAN 2) No.

MAN 1) Neither did he.

Sugar Honey Ice Tea.

I FORGOT MY JOKE!

They laughed at my crayon drawing.

So I laughed at their chalk outline.

A 6-year-old told the class the first time she got AIDS. The teacher listened. She said she scraped her knee. The girl was sent to an asylum. When she got out, she was 20. She had AIDS.

Apex Legends: exists.

Titanfall fandom: (Literally on fire and at war with itself) "Everything is fine."

The duck bought lipstick. When he paid, he said, "Put it on my bill."

A ball hit me in the vagina.

I air.

What's the difference between cancer and me?

My dad didn't beat cancer... Whelp, I guess I stole that one.

Stephen Hawking died because he rolled too far from the outlet.

Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.

Whenever you think back to 9/11 and realize there are 12 hours in front of us, why the f*ck didn't they warn us?

My wife told me to give her 8 inches, so I had to have sex with her 4 times and punch her in the nose.

I like my women how I like my fridge.

In the kitchen.

How can you make a orphans hand bleed?

Real them to clap until there parent come home.

"Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" "It's Dave!"

"Dave who?"

Dave bursts into tears, realizing that his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

I didn't fart. My ass likes you so much, it just blew you a kiss!

What do you call a cow on steroids? A bull-y.