Worst Jokes Ever
Me: *makes Chuck Norris meme*
Internet: *all the other memes are dead now*
Me: Well, shit.
What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination?
HAAAAAANNNNDDDDEEEEEEYYYYEEEEEE!
There's an orphan in my class... For some reason, he never leaves.
Once upon a time, there was a man named Daniel. He was blind and deaf, and he worked at a morgue.
So, one time poor Dan got confused and started having sex with the rotting corpse.
He then came home and thought he was at the morgue, so he started disintegrating his sleeping wife.
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one liners?
He can't do stand-ups.
One day a guy named Carson is called a jerk, and he says, "I went to a party with my girlfriend, and this random guy walks up to us and says, 'Can I borrow your girlfriend for 30 minutes?' I say yes, and he takes her upstairs. It was not only 30 minutes, but an hour. When she came back down, she was out of breath, so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation." This happens about 3 more times that night.
But as I was saying, only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys. šš
Why does this stingray's wife can't stop babbling?
'Cause she can't watch her mouth.
PP almighty stabeth thy! Then my sister said, "Just put it in."
Yes, I'm CUTE.
C-ringe U-gly T-errible E-mpty.
Why did the bodybuilder go to the crustacean church?
Because it was a good source of mussel mass!
When you say to your dad...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Dad be like...
Who wants my son?
Nan be like, "Me!"
Kid be like...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GIVE ME #### ROUX!
What are roux, says nan?
Um, they're your life savings!
Nan be like, "Let's get some roux!"
What's the difference between MetaCareForAll and the resurrection of our lord and savior Jesus Christ?
One of them is an unrealistic fantasy that can never come true because it wouldn't work. The other one is the resurrection our lord and savior Jesus Christ.
Your mom is gay, just like your dad.
You are in the airway, how funny!
Want to hear a joke? It's called life.
Did you hear about that cheese factory that exploded in France?
There was nothing left but de Brie!
Will you remember me in 7 years?
(Yes)
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
What did the emo say before he crossed the road?
"Fuck my life."
Hey, Hunger Games... I'm full!!
This ain't your mama's monologue.
Stephen Hawking, more like ice cream!