Worst Jokes Ever

A retard walks into a bar.

Bartender: Hey, retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard!

Thank you for listening to joke, sincerely - Jokeman87848584

What do you call a man with rubber toes??

Roberto

My nan coughed and threw up a lung. Now she is dead.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Gun. Gun who?

Yo' mama sometimes always happens to let you know you're back in New York -- like the way people order in a restaurant: "Could you take my order before Jesus gets back? What's the matter with you? I've evolved into another species here, you understand? I can't eat clam chowder no more. I gotta see the cyborg menu, you understand?"

My teacher started talking about houses, then I said I don't want that informansion.

What comes next in the pattern, ottffs?

S, because it represents numbers going up: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

Why did Johnny cry?

He was molested by his sister. Johnny enjoyed it, though.

Rapist: "Get into the fucking van!"

Kid: "mi gniog ot tell ym momy"

Rapist: "Fine" (Grabs a white kid instead)

I can measure the speed of an object, because I want to km/s.

Ines.

I went into a forest with my sharp laptop with F13. Now I'm a real HACKER.

Mary is hanging out, and the angel Gabriel descends behind her. She looks behind her and says, "Jesus Christ!" and the angel Gabriel said, "So you already know."

What’s the difference a hooker an a drug dealer...?? A hooker can wash her crack an resell it.

There was a penguin breathing with his ass. One day, he sat down and he died.

People named Joey are autistic and need to die fatty.

What did the orphan get for Christmas?

Lego figures from his friend, but they ran away too.

What do astronauts eat off of? A satellite dish.

Yo mama so fat, she the iceberg.

Yo mama so fat, she the iceberg.

Why couldn't the kid with Down syndrome play football? Because he got all the downs.