Worst Jokes Ever
Uranus, ur-anus, your anus. Anus is what's in between your two buttocks.
Uranus is larger than Neptune, but Neptune is more massive/heavier. (Fact not joke, also Neptune, don't kill me!)
"Orange you glad I made it?"
I have 25 friends from the alphabet, but don't ask me why.
Yo mama so fat when she went on a plane, somebody yelled "A solar eclipse!"
I’m sorry deez nuts can’t fit in your mouth.
Why did the pen stop writing?
'Cause the pen wasn't very dependable.
Titanic walks into a bar. Britannic: "What would you like to drink?" Titanic: "An iceberg."
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
Because they need a parent signature.
What is Jesus's favorite exercise? Cross fit.
Little Johnny is walking in the hallway and goes in his brother's room and catches him watching something, so he asks, "What you watching?" His brother replies, "Nothing," and drops his phone. But then he gets a text from his teacher, who texted him a picture of her naked, saying, "After school come fuck me." So Johnny looks and says, "Ew, I'm telling Mom," and he ran with his brother's phone and showed his mom, and his mom said, "Ok, Johnny, I'll take care of you brother," and she told him to leave, and he did.
And his brother ran in his mom's room naked, and his mom said, "Oh, that's big. How about you do what your teacher told you to do to her, to me?" And a few hours later, Johnny heard weird noises coming from the room, so he walked in and saw them (his brother and mom) having sex, so he closed the door and walked away.
Why did the Hummingbird hum because he forgot the words?
Once my friend saw my wrist, slapped it and said "I like ya cuts, G!"
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
Why do people poop?
Because it we need to!
Note to all.
My name is Lariah. Lariah Carla Brown, 14 years old and I am 1 of triplets. I don't understand how rape jokes are funny, and I just want to make that statement clear. I also hate orphan jokes because I WAS one. Notice when I put WAS! I also see jokes about cancer, now I know you can't be kidding. You know that cancer is a disease that many people get and could die from, so you are just wrong about that!
Orphan: "Why can’t I watch a PG movie?"
Me: "They are Parental Guidance."
What did the cat say when he took his new car for a test drive?
"Meoooow!"
A man walks into a bar and ends up with a concussion.
Maybe if he looked where he was going, he wouldn’t have hit that pole.
D.K. is back, baby!