Yo mama is so stupid, when she took a trip to Disneyland and a sign on the highway said “Disney left,” she went home.
Worst Jokes Ever
Why do Christmas trees like wheelchairs? Because they have kids.
I’m going to be busy having dinner soon. I have internet for Christmas 🎄 and I have some Christmas.
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw 'em.
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."
A chemical store burned down, and the firefighter just stood there, but at the end, the store fire just went out by itself. But the store owner still got angry.
Store owner: Why didn't you take out the fire?
Firefighter: Yeah, but it went out by itself.
Store owner: But still, why?
Firefighter: Your chemical store sells H20.
Store owner: Oh, I get it now!
What’s an orphan’s favorite holidays? Mothers’ and Father’s Day.
Husband: I look fat, can someone compliment me?
Wife: You have good eyesight.
You see, my son is very into astronomy.
Son: How do stars die?
Dad: Usually overdose, son.
I'm such an asshole to my son, my wife divorced me.
I read to deaf kids in my spare time.
Yo mama is so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices.
Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?
Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.
Orphans are human too! They have parents like all of us, so I don't know why they're saying it's fun to make fun of an orphan. Have you ever been too cold and wondered if your parents are going to have another child and not you? That's not funny! It is %9000,000 NO!!!!!!!!!!
Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan?
Because it has no home button.
What do call six gay men going in a war?
Rainbow Six Siege.
What do you call an orphan? Homeless.
What's an orphan's worst favorite movie? Home Alone.
Why can't homeless people find a home? Because they're orphans.
What do you call 2 homeless people throwing rocks at each other? "Pillow Fight!"
Who is Joe?
You reply back: Who is Candice?
They reply back: Who is Candice?
You say: "Candice nuts fit into Joe Mama's mouth."
What does a cannibal call people in water?
Sea food.
My sister: See you at home in about an hour.
Me: Okay.
My sister: Sister, where are you? *She looks out the window.*
Me: Sis, I'm here, can't you see me?
Sister: OMG, she's dead!
Me: Yeah, I know, but can't you see me?