Worst Jokes Ever
Three Europeans head to an island. They are captured by the island people. They are going to kill them, and they plead. They grant them a chance to live. The island people tell them to grab a fruit from the tribe's garden and bring it back, then to follow the task at hand.
The first guy brings back a peach. The island leader says, "Stick it up your ass. If you laugh, you die." The first guy shoves it up his ass and laughs, so they kill him. The second guy brings a grape, he does the same and laughs, making them kill him.
The first two are in heaven together. "Peaches are fuzzy, so I laughed. How the hell did you die? You had a grape!" says the first guy. The second guy replied, "It didn't tickle at all. I laughed at the sight [of] the third guy was bringing over a pineapple."
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They have got no home to run to.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter, it won’t come to you.
They all call it self-baptism. I call it failed suicide.
Today I asked my phone, Siri, why am I still single?
And I activated the front camera! 😭😭😭😭😭
Dislike this if you think orphans are weird.
Like this if you think orphans are cool!
Why can't an orphan get 5 stars in GTA? Because they are not wanted.
Your wife dumped you because you are so poor and you are so ugly. You also live under a rock and have no money. You got dumped so hard you can't remember you got dumped.
What did the titanic say as it was sinking?
I nominate all the passengers to the ice bucket challenge.
What is long and black?
The line at Popeyes.
what does an orphanage and a hospital have in common?
people go there to fix their mistakes.
Why can't an orphan get married? It doesn't have its parents' blessing.
Guys, we need to stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents might get upset. Oh, wait... never mind.
What can you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing that you haven't told her twice already.
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
Your hairline is so ugly, I thought you were Shrek!
I have many jokes about unemployed people--sadly, none of them work.
ENTER PASSWORD.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
RESET PASSWORD.
NEW PASSWORD CAN'T BE OLD PASSWORD.
Sets fire to computer.
All of you idiots who think that it is ok to laugh about us foster kids need to be shot.
Q: I like elephants.
A: Everything else is irrelevant.