Worst Jokes Ever

How many Karens does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one...to call 911 and demand a cop come do something about the intimidating blackness.

What has four legs and one arm? A doberman at the playground.

What's the fastest way to get to the hospital? Stand in the middle of the road.

A pedophile was holding a bag of chocolates and then approached a little girl at the park.

"Hey little girl! If you give me a teeny-tiny kissy-kiss on the tip of my wee-wee, I'll give you a piece of my chocolate!"

The little girl replies, "If I suck your whole cock, can I have the whole bag?"

What's the toughest stain to wash off a little boy's underpants?

Michael Jackson's lipstick.

I walked in on my dad fucking my little brother. I don't know what was worse: the fact that he was fucking my brother, or the fact that the abortion clinic let my parents take the fetus home....

Why don't Chinese children believe in Santa?

Because they're the ones making the toys.

What part of the vegetable is the hardest to eat? The wheelchair.

What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets it.

A little boy decided to burn a house down. The father put his arm around his wife, tears in his eyes, saying, "That's arson."

I saw a sign that said “Watch for children” and I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade.”

Roses are red, potato chips are savory...

The United States prison system is legalized slavery.

Used to laugh at Michael Jackson for wearing gloves and a mask...

Yet here I am, stuck at home in this COVID-19 "Thriller," beating it...

My boss told me I have a preoccupation with vengeance... We'll see about that!

Feeling stressed? Have a nice cup of tea and spill it in the lab of the person bothering you.

As I grow older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe tour guide wasn't the right career choice for me...

My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest, telling her we can get married once she makes her way out.

I went to see my dentist, and she warned me it was going to hurt. Then, she told me she was having an affair with my husband. Good news though...the cleaning didn't hurt.

My husband is mad that I have no sense of direction, so I packed up my stuff and left. Right?

I'll never forget my dad's last words before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, look how far I can kick this bucket!"