Worst Jokes Ever
Q: What's the difference between a CEO and a beer can?
A: Beer cans don't bleed when they get shot.
Why can't fat kids change a tire?
They would eat the donut.
"When I heard that not arguing or fighting in a relationship represents a lack of interest, that's when my girlfriend started missing her makeup box."
"People are more honest when they are tired, so I made my nephew do push-ups 50 times when I realized he stole my cookies."
"Talking about childhood habits, my friend told me he still collects coins and post stamps and all. He asked me, I said - breastfeeding."
Q. What do you get when you blindfold a racist?
A. A Notsee.
Why did Hitler keep on f***ing England?
Because it had a Great Booty!
What do you call an emo kid with light up shoes?
A human chandelier.
"The legend says Tinker Bell was good in jerkin' off Peter with her tiny fingers, but it pains me to think that Captain Hook was a closeted-sadist boyfriend."
What’s better than the best thing ever?
Me being mod.
"Can we at least give them one credit—for abiding the traffic laws?"
Little Johnny goes to his mum and asks, "Mummy, what's rape?"
Little Johnny's mum answers, "The way you got here."
"When I was a child, my blind mother taught me hand jobs, like carpentry and painting with her legs."
What is the difference between a brown bear and a polar bear?
About a few thousand miles.
I wasn't going to tell another rape joke but fuck it.
I think we should change Alzheimer’s disease to Joe Biden disease.
Yo, you have the biggest Oliver brain, which means you are the dumbest boy ever.
Speak in AAVE, Mr. Bear...
I told the last person I slept with I was pregnant. He freaked the fuck out but calmed down after he realized it was April Fools'.
The look on my cousin's face was hilarious.
They say there is power in numbers.
Tell that to the people in the Twin Towers.