I believe Alia is a true god because they say in the beginning there was an explosion
What do you get when you cross a Jewish person?
Christianity
A guy barges into a psychiatrist’s office and screams, “Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!”
The doctor calmly answers, “Pay me in advance.”
Why did God build a stairway to heaven?
So all the disabled people will have to go to hell
I was kicked out of a orphanage kitchen because I yelled hurry up some of us have homes to get back to.
What do you call a depressed acapella group? Self Harmony.
Like a shooter says “I put the Fun in funeral
What's an old Japanese mans last words
hey that cloud looks like a mushroom or is it just me
I was thrown out of the charity food kitchen on my first night of volunteering.
All I said was, hurry up, some of us got homes to go to...
How do you turn a cat into a fish
Tell your girl not to wash down there
Having homosexual parents must be terrible
Either you have double dosage of dad jokes or you are stuck in cycle of “go ask your mom”
People think Kelly Clarkson shops at Wal-Mart because she's a sloppy redneck. No, it's because toddlers' pants are 75% off everyday!
Your hairline is like the economy it's going down
My first football game was a lot like my first time having sex
I was bloody sore and but at least my dad came
What bee doesn’t fly properly
Kobe
Girls are like black jack
I always want 21 but end up hitting on 14
It's illegal to go onto someone's property, demand money that they might not have while wearing all black, and threaten horrible things if they don't pay.
But when the IRS does it, it's perfectly fine. HMMMMM . . . .
What’s the worst thing to do at a funeral
The corpse
A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast.
I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done."
She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She agrees.
After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what happened?" She responds, "The ...bastard.....used .....coins"
why were the twin towers angry on 9/11? because they orderd a peperoni pizza but all they got instead was plane
