Worst Jokes Ever
How do you know if a chick is too fat?
If you pull her pants down, her ass is still in them.
What’s strong enough for a man, but made for a woman?
The back of my hand.
What do you get when you cross A-Rod with Chris Brown?
Cheater, cheater, woman beater!
What do hockey players and Surrey girls have in common?
They both only change their pads after every third period!
A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."
What does an autistic kid and a loaf of bread have in common?
They both have special needs.
Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?
I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...
With numerous reports of Donald Trump's odor and Kelly Clarkson's lack of hygienic habits... proof that money doesn't buy cleanliness.
Why do Asians excel at math?
Because their dog can never eat their homework.
What is worse than seeing your sibling drown?
Getting the water bill.
What is the difference between onions and my dead grandma?
I cried when I cut up the onions.
How do you ground a Gen Z?
Make them go outside and socialize.
A Scotsman at the hairdresser: "How much is a haircut?"
"Six pounds."
"And shaving?"
"Three pounds."
"Good, then shave my head."
Why do they call matches, matches?
They all look the same.
What is the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
You’ll only need a single nail to hang the picture frame up.
What happens when the orphan at school gets sent home?
Today was a really bad day. My mother-in-law was hit by a cab AND I lost my job as a cab driver!
Why are carpenters never horny after work?
Because they’ve already spent all day getting hammered and nailing things.
Who is Bill Cosby’s favorite Disney princess?
Sleeping Beauty.
What do you call a serial killer that only kills fat people?
A mass murderer.