Worst Jokes Ever
When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he's pushing the Earth down.
If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.
The rest of them will write Perl programs.
Yo mama is so nasty, she buys sex toys at the second-hand shop.
Yo mama stops at the PokeStop... to buy a Big Mac.
Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the beach, the people shout, "Free Willy!"
A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."
Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.
Your teeth split faster than your parents' divorce settlement.
Which hole talks faster? Your mouth or your ass? Can't tell the difference because they both run shit at once.
Q: What's the best part about working at an abortion clinic?
A: You don't have to buy dog food.
"I'd love to give everyone another shot."
Harry, 26, works at the women's clinic.
What role does a leper play in the theater?
Voldemort!
How do you measure a dog's temperature?
In barking grade!
A long-haired child once took a bite of Chuck Norris's brain. He later became known as Albert Einstein.
Life’s not a game... but if it was, some people would still be stuck on the tutorial.
What happens to an Indian's doorbell when you ring it?
A ring-a-ding-a-ding.
Why do vegans hate sex?
They don't want to say they had a meat in 'em.
Why does the Marine Corps have the best uniforms?
Because the Navy wants their bitches to look nice.
What does Marine stand for?
My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment
What does Marine stand for?
Muscles Are Required Intelligence Not Expected