Worst Jokes Ever
Your hairline is so far back that if you were a backbencher in class and I was a germ sitting on it, I would think that the rest of the backbenchers are seated in front of the class.
What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?
I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!
What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?
"Will there be seconds?"
What do you call a Mexican with one leg?
Border hopper.
Why did the rapper go to school?
To improve his FLOW-CULUS.
What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?
"Where are the kids?"
Why do dwarfs do drugs?
To get high.
What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless.
What did the rapper name his new DOG?
Lil Bark.
Why did the dwarf work at Tesco?
Because every little bit helps!
What game do emo kids love the most?
Hangman.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion?
Me time.
My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.
What did the water say to the cup?
"Good day!"
Know your ABCs! Assholes, bitches, and cocaine!
A guy threatened to touch me yesterday...
Who led the Israelites through the semipermeable membrane?
Osmoses.
What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?
House of Pain—"Jump Around."
My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.
Theory is when you know everything but nothing works.
Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.
In our lab, theory and practice are combined: Nothing works and no one knows why.