Worst Jokes Ever
The whole reason he is dead is because he kept hitting "Remind me later" on his Windows Updates.
Chuck Norris would have died a couple of years ago, but death hasn't built up the courage to tell him.
Why do cheetahs always win?
Because they cheat!
A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am, I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide.” The librarian replies, “No, you won’t give it back.”
What's sad and has no life? The person reading this.
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.
Yo mama so ugly, she made Kanye West go east.
If I were a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party, and insomnia the little annoying sibling.
What is a redneck's favorite sock?
A red sock.
"Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible."
"Well, tell him I can't see him right now."
I caught my girlfriend cheating on me, with our dad.
I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but thankfully, I turned myself around.
Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me. It means a lot.
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
By rearranging the furniture.
My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, "No, wait! I can change."
Do you know why I hate pedophiles?
They are fucking immature kids!
What is the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
A refrigerator doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?
The prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.
Have you heard of the... uh Pokemon called uh rhy... rhy... Rhydon deez nuts?