Worst Jokes Ever
Why can't a steam locomotive sit down?
Because it has a tender behind.
Q: What was the orphan's first phone?
A: The iPhone X because it had no home button.
I had a dog with an eating disorder.
He wouldn’t eat any of my homework.
In History class, the teacher taught a lesson about serial killer Albert Fish. Back in the early 20th century, Fish reportedly kidnapped, ate, and raped over 100 kids. He mainly chose victims who were either retarded or black. Further on the lesson, the teacher explained how in those days, black people were socially not equal with white people, and how people with mental illness were not accepted and treated properly due to a lack of knowledge of mental health.
One of the students raised their hand and said, “You ought to be arrested.” The teacher confusedly asked, “Why?” The student explained, “Because you’re thinking like Albert Fish.”
Why can't homosexuals get car insurance?
They've been rear-ended too many times.
I'm not a chef, but boy, are these days getting harder and harder to get through.
Why do a pedophile love Halloween?
Free delivery.
What do you call an athlete who injured 75% of his spine?
A quarterback.
What is an orphan's favorite event? Homecoming.
2 weeks here.
What do dicks and popsicles have in common?
They both like to be sucked on, and they sometimes choke you.
How are a bald eagle and a bald man similar?
Because they both have eyes.
How do you know your Dad's been fucking your sister?
His dick tastes funny...
This is the true worst joke ever:
What did the person say to the other guy when he met him?
Hi!
When Bubba's condom broke, he spent a lot of sleepless nights wondering if he was going to be an uncle or a dad.
What do you call a racist crow?
Jim.
We can nip March Madness in the bud, but only if we detect the warning signs of brooding, anti-social February Fever.
The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
What show does an orphan hate?
Family Guy.
There are plenty more fish in the sea is the last thing you should say to a necrophiliac.
Teacher: Describe a penguin.
Student: Black, white, beak.
Teacher: Good, now describe an orphan.
Student: Sad, maybe depressed, no family.
Teacher: Amazing, now describe a cow.
Student: Brown bun hair, red shirt, white skirt, pantyhose, and dollar tree shoes.
Teacher: No! How does that describe a cow?
Student: It describes you tho.