Worst Jokes Ever
My dad went to go get milk. He came back 7 years later, and we had to send him back because he got the wrong milk.
A couple enters a Chinese restaurant and takes their seats.
The waiter asks, "想吃什么 (Xiang Chi Shen Ma)?"
The wife responds, "吃鸡巴 (Chi Ji Ba)!"
What do pedophiles call children in wheelchairs?
"Meals on Wheels."
Australian says to American: why do you have such bad gun laws?
American: Self defense.
Australian: Self defense against 50 innocent children?
There was an illegal alien woman who wanted to be called "undocumented." So, I had "undocumented" sex with her and threatened to have her deported if she reported me for rape. I'd call it even.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He couldn't log in.
What do Bob Ross's painting and the orphanage have in common?
They're both filled with happy little accidents.
What does a priest and a clown have in common?
They both make children cry.
The weirdest thing happened to me today. I was driving 50 mph and hit a speed bump and it screamed!
Where did Kobe go after the helicopter crashed? Everywhere.
Anyone want to fuck? Cause my sisters are such cunts!
Roses are red, I hate snitches, You talk a lot of game for a guy with 3 inches.
What is a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child’s body.
Like if you wanna have sex.
A virgin is what I called my daughter before I took that away from her.
Fun fact: Most of the black holes in the universe are found in Africa!
You know Imagine Dragons?
Imagine draggin' these balls.
Have you heard about the guy whose friends teased him because he pays for sex? He doesn't pay anymore.
Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn’t have any arms.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not Susie.
This dwarf was being mean to me, so I said, "When you get home, I hope Snow White kicks the shit out of you."