Worst Jokes Ever
Why doesn't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box!
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say "congrats," but none of them touch the man's penis and say "well done?"
Teacher: Okay class, what's a word that begins with A?
Student: Apple!
Teacher: Good! What's a word beginning with B?
Student:....Bitch...
When a military person dies, we shoot all night. When a drunkard dies, we drink all night. When a Christian dies, we pray all night. What if a prostitute dies? What should we do? Please tell me.
Biden is a joke. Trump is AMAZINGLY AWESOME!
What do you call an Asian receptionist?
Tai Ping.
When is it bedtime in the Jacksons' house?
When the big hand 🖐 meets the little 🤚.
What is a glory hole at the adult bookstore used for?
campaign contribution to the Republican Party.
One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive!
Why can orphans only hit a triple in baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Q. How does a girl from Alabama know when her mom is on the rag?
A. She can taste it on her brother's cock.
My therapist told me that time heals all wounds. So I stabbed him, now we wait.
Bro, your toenails are bigger than your IQ.
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it's a family company...
My mom told me drugs are my enemies... but Jesus said to love your enemies.
I will never forget my grandfather's last words: “The fuck you doing with that knife?”
Dad, am I adopted?
NO! Why would I ever choose you?
An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.
He called them: "Asperger's."
Helen Keller picked up a cheese grater, it was the most violent story she'd ever read.
Q) What do you call Iron Man when he can't swim?
A) Robert Drowney Jr.