Why is the record for longest jump kept by an emo?
They're still hanging.
Worst Jokes Ever
I went to go hang out with the emo kids, but they already did.
What do you call a Chinese person with no legs?
Lim Ping.
Why were the twin towers mad?
Because they ordered a cheese pizza, but instead they got plane.
What did the fork say to the spoon?
Nothing, forks don’t speak, silly!
Orphans don’t have parents, lol.
When Hitler killed himself, he shot himself twice. The first one was Operation Barbarossa, and the second one was his death.
What do u call a Chinese man with one leg?
Tie-wan-sho.
What's the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
What's the difference between sex and rape? Some effective drugs.
My cousin: “How’s the lemonade stand supposed to run when you’re at softball practice?!”
Me: “Lemonade stands can’t run, dufus.”
What’s long, white, and full of cream? A cheese stick.
Stephen Hawking once stood up to bow down to Chuck Norris.
Does money grow on trees? No.
What is money made of? Paper.
What is paper made out of? Trees!
What’s a vacuum cleaner’s favorite plant?
Answer: SUCCulent
Okay, so I have a dairy and sugar allergy, and if I eat it, I get REALLY CONSTIPATED, so this is me when I’m constipated ᕙ(⇀‸↼‵‵)ᕗ lol.
Your hairline went back faster than your adoption papers!
If I die, does my depression die with me?
What is depressing, alone, chronic, and messed up? Me.
If you give someone a plane ticket, they will fly for a day, but if you push them out of a plane, they'll fly for the rest of their life.
