Why can't orphans use a phone?
Because they don't have a home screen.
Worst Jokes Ever
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Me: My grandpa killed 100 nazis in WWII.
My Friend: Well my grandpa killed Hitler.
Me: *Realizes*
Why can't orphans play baseball? Cause they can't go to home base. 😈
What's the difference between a dog from an Asian person and a cat from an Asian person?
Only the taste.
I see my friends at school. They talk to me, they go back to class, but they forgot I am their classmate, and they were like, "You're a dumbie." And I was, "Well, you're a dumbass, bi***!"
You know, that I see my sister at home from school. She says everyone bullies me. I say, "Because you're a fat a**."
One time I looked out the window and then I saw my sister, and she wasn’t even my sister anymore...
My friends told me to stop making suicide jokes, so I hanged on.
Yoo! I found a $100 bill, found a child who said they lost their $100 bill. Gave them $25.
When God gives you glory, you give it back.
Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing!
I hate stairs. They are always up to something.
I love stairs. They are always down to party.
How many people do you need to change a lightbulb?
Three. The first holds the ladder, the second one holds the lightbulb, and the third one spins the ladder.
Elmo: Welcome to the new micronation of Tickelandia.
Dude: Why are we close to Disneyland?
Kid: I don't know.
Elmo: Rule 1, you must not tell the forests or Bob Iger about us.
Meanwhile, Officer: Come on, Elmo, you're going to prison.
*Officer arrests Elmo*
Elmo: But who wants tickles?
I like my women the way I like my coffee, and I don't drink coffee.
Why are vampires always sick?
Because they are coffin.
What do you call Hitler speeding?
The Fast and the Fuherous.
You're so skinny when you lift up weights, you fall through your asshole.
What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?
Answer: fire.
You was reaching into you’re backpack and the whole class jumped through the window.
