I like my men like I like my Alexa:
By my bed and turned on.
I called my mom on Alexa, and she told me, "Please take out the trash." I said, "But I can't, you're not here."
Bob: Siri, call 666!
*dialing noises*
Bob: Hello?
Bob's dad: Hi!
This is so sad, Alexa, play Despacito.