Voice Assistant jokes
This is so sad, Alexa, play Despacito.
Why did Stephen Hawking's wife get annoyed with him?
He had an affair with Alexa.
Why can’t orphans have Google Homes?
Because they don’t have a home.
I called my mom on Alexa, and she told me, "Please take out the trash." I said, "But I can't, you're not here."
Uhuh
I like my men like I like my Alexa:
By my bed and turned on.
Man: Hey Siri!
Siri: Yes?
Man: I'm desperate, will you marry me?
Siri: Uh...
*phone literally explodes*
Bob: Siri, call 666!
*dialing noises*
Bob: Hello?
Bob's dad: Hi!
Siri is so ugly that she needs to go in the dumpster. She's so ugly that she needs to go in the toilet.
Who is Stephen Hawking's wife?
The American Siri.
"What do we want?"
"HEARING AIDS!"
"When do we want them?"
"HEARING AIDS!"
Hey Siri, where is my dad?
Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.
HAH, jokes on you! My dad’s in the kitchen!
Your mom’s husband is in the kitchen, your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.
...WhAT-
When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”
Today, I asked my phone, "Siri, why am I still single?" and it activated the front camera.
Dear disabled people, just go to the settings and enable it!
Community talk
When have you last used siri