Vegetable Oil jokes

What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?

VEGETABLE OIL!

A cocksucker is still a cocksucker if a cocksucker only sucks for moral, religious, or health reasons, and a vegetarian who doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons can still be a cocksucker, so how can a cocksucker be a vegetarian for moral, religious, or health reasons?

The broccoli says, "I look like a small tree." The mushroom says, "I look like an umbrella." The walnut says, "I look like a brain." And the banana says, "Can we please change the subject?"

So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was "Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!"

Why are tomatoes 🍅 the slowest vegetable?

Because they can’t ketchup.

Why do vegetarians give good head?

Because they’re used to eating nuts.