Trys jokes

If Stephen Hawking was in a horror movie, would he make his robot try and shout, "Aaaaaaaah! Help me, I can't move! I'm too scared!"?

My friend wasn't laughing at my jokes, so I said, "Is your funny bone broken?" But he got mad, and then I said, "Do you have a bone to pick with me?" He tried to insult me, but I said, "Call me what you want, I got thick skin," and this story was down to the bone.

A hobo couple is making out under a bridge.

The girlfriend goes: - Johnny, why is your dick so soft? - Flip me over, I’m trying to shit!

TELL ME YOU'VE DONE THIS WITHOUT TELLING ME YOU'VE DONE THIS.!!! So, we all know when y'all were in school, y'all would fart, but y'all would try to make it silent, but for me, that one day I farted loud, and everyone could hear. Everyone got to blame the annoying kid.

Fortnite is so bad that when you try to play, trash is always in your way. LOL

Ex-bf's gf: You're so ugly as hell.

Me: Oh, did I mention that I was trying to be you?

When your little brother knocks your two Jenga towers you made with his toy airplane,

You: "Hey, stop trying to recreate the Twin Towers!"

Your mama so fat when she steps on the scale, the scale said, "I'm trying to get your weight, not your phone number!"

The moment when you throw the nut away and try to eat the shell.

What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?

An ingestigation.

How many innocent succulents have been brutally killed by people trying to cure their depression?

Try not to <3.

A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.

The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.

Why was the people's wedding so miserable...

'Cause during the kiss someone farted so loud and stinky, they agreed to never try to have another wedding.

One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.

When I try to call my friend, I can't get through because my name is Lin Kon, and the operator keeps saying, "Yes, Mr. President."

The bird was trying to cross the road because there was a church, but instead, the birds chirp chirp chirp, "Let's go to church!"

Is it bad to hit an orphan?

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Well... I mean, they could go to church and try to gather that someone hit them.

Put Helen Keller in George Floyd's position. How would she cry out for help? Would she just moan, or would she try to do sign language?

Want to know something? Jason and Michael Myers had to watch their family while they have to live forever. That's why they kill; they're trying to make people experience what they did.