Their jokes
If a kid doesn't take their nap, doesn't that mean they are resisting arrest?
If I make fun of orphans, they will cry to their parents.
Oh wait...
Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.
10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.
Why aren't orphans scared of getting in trouble at school?
Because they can't call their parents.
Why can't Americans play chess? Because they lost their 2 towers.
Why are Americans bad at Clash Royale? Because they lost their 2 towers.
Q: Why are most Americans bad at chess?
A: Because they lost their Twin Towers.
I bet emo kids are jealous when their phone dies.
Why do orphans never get a car?
Because their parents need to buy them one.
Why do cannibals love sex? They can make their own food.
How do you turn a Chinese person into an American? Put a bag of ice on their eyes.
Do midgets still start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?
doctor: you need to eat healthy.
me: no.
doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after I suggested it died.
me: oh my goodness.
doctor: in a plane crash.
me: that sounds unrelated.
doctor: I'm the one that crashed it. Do not disobey me!
If you’re having a bad day, just punch an orphan.
Who are they going to tell? Their parents?
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
In Ohio, people walk with their hands.
I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.
Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.
Every time a midget runs on the grass, the grass tickles their balls.
What's the best competition to do with an orphan?
Which orphan had their parent for the longest?
Why is England so bad at Clash of Clans?
Because they lost their queen.
So the other day, I was looking up zodiac sign stuff, you know, I'm a real big fan of that, and I come across this thing and it’s like all zodiac signs have their own hairstyles... except Cancer.