Their jokes
I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone...
Why is the lesbian lifestyle so expensive? -- They're always eating out.
... and they buy Rolexes for their neighbors, because they wanna watch.
What was the last thing going through the minds of the people who jumped out of the buildings during 9/11?
Their ankles.
What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.
Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
Two men were talking about their wives. The first man says, "My wife is an angel." The second man says, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common?
Their last big hit was the wall.
What do cannibals eat to freshen their breath?
Men toes.
Why don't Amish people water ski?
Because their horses would drown.