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I was with my blind friend, and he's telling me, "Yeah, I can read braille." So I hand him a Lego brick and ask him to read it. Apparently, Lego has been hiding a dark secret from us for years; as all their bricks read, "Screw you, asshole."

  • 1

    • How do Chinese people name their children?

    They throw pots and pans down the stairs and listen for the sounds, "Ching Chong Chang."

  • 5

    • If you fuck your sister in front of a redneck, are you appropriating their culture?

    What’s the difference between Jesus and a hooker?

    The look on their face when you're nailing them.

  • 8

    • There once was a woman who had 10 kids. Their names were:

    Tenth, Twenty, Thirty, Forty, Fifty, Sixty, Seventy, Eighty, Ninety, and One Hundred.

    Everyone but Ninety died. She also had 10 kids.

    These 10 kids got a dog without Ninety knowing. They had him for 2 years until he got hit by a car.

    Only Ninety's kids know about this.

    If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan! What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

    If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

    Three nuns are on their way up to heaven after having been involved in a terrible minibus crash on the Italian Alps that killed them and the driver (he went the other direction!).

    As they're approaching the Pearly Gates to be interviewed by St. Peter, they are requested by an attendant to form a single line and wait. Sister Agnes is first, Sister Bernadette behind her and Sister Carmel on the end.

    Finally, St. Peter approaches the nuns to determine their worthiness for entry to Heaven.

    He says to the first nun: "Sister Agnes, have you ever seen the penis of a man?"

    Sister Agnes bursts into tears and says: "Yes, St. Peter, I have, but please don't let this prevent me from entering the Kingdom of Heaven."

    St. Peter says: "Never fear, my child. Say a thousand Hail Marys and then go over to that font of Holy Water and wash your eyes out, then you shall enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

    Sister Carmel sees what's going on and taps Sister Bernadette on the shoulder, somewhat urgently.

    "Pssst - hey Bernie"!, she says.

    Sister Bernadette asks: "What is it?" A little annoyed.

    Sister Carmel says: "Do you mind if we swap places"?

    Sister Bernadette replies: "What for"?

    Sister Carmel says: "Well, I wouldn't mind gargling before you stick your ass in there!"

  • 3

    • If you want to pick on someone, pick on orphans. Let them tell their parents.

    Double!

    Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!

    Triple!

    Why did Bob cross the road? Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

  • 4

    • If you are going to make fun of someone, make fun of orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

    Double whammy.

    Dark humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old.

    If babies stay in their mothers for 9 months, are they not 9 months old when they are born?

    What do you call a Down syndrome kid who has been physically abused by older teenagers and her parents for a total of 16 years and has red marks all over their body?

    Not funny because Down syndrome jokes aren't funny ;)