The jokes

The existence of the word "priest" implies the existence of "prier" and "pri".

I went to the zoo the other day and it only had one dog... yeah, it was a shih tzu.

I was with my friend atom the other day. He’s pretty tall . . . Compared to you.

What is the definition of "Endless Love"?

Answer: Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder playing "Tennis"!

Yo, hairline start at the back of yo head.

What do you call a guy that lies a lot?

The president.

When you're in the World Trade Center and you connect to airplane wifi.

I pulled a prank on my friend the other day. I painted a portrait of the backrooms blueprints while he was sleeping. Still had some extra space.

Why did the orphan stop playing baseball?

Because baseball has a home, and an orphan does not.

Laugh now.

Is it a bird? Is it a plane?

I don't know, but it's coming for the towers.

I saw a girl with blond hair. She was sexy and beautiful. I thought she was the most hottest girl I ever saw, so I ran up to her feeling hot.

I am the Titanic, and I'm looking for a place to crash tonight.

What's black and white and red all over?

The darkness of your heart, the dishonor of your lies, and the embarrassment you feel when busted for both.

What did the fat say to the other fat? I am fatey.

What's the one thing that makes a depressed person jump? A bridge.

I braced myself when I got in the car, but then I realized my wife wasn't driving.

Hairline so big people had to time travel to find the end of it.

Yo mama so fat that when she walked past the TV, you missed three episodes of your favorite show.

You're so fat, you lasted a whole year on the cross just off of your fat.

Friend: Hi.

Me: Do you know how lost their dad is?

Friend: Me?

Me: Damn, no, not you.

Friend: Then who?

Me: The orphan kid.

I guess we're the same.