The jokes
Am I the only one who's on here because it's not blocked on the school laptop and I can't use my phone in class?
Cows go moo.
Some guy asked me, "Are you better than my meat?" I said, "No, I'm not better, I just beat it all the time."
What do you call a gay guy on the BBQ?
LGBBQ.
What did the mother cheetah say to her cub?
"Go to bed or I'll slap your spots off you!"
Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"
Me: Where's your mom?
Kid: [cries]
Me: [leaving from the adoption center]
You're gay.
Bro, I am straighter than the pole that your mom dances on for me every night.
How do you win an argument against an emo?
Kick the chair!
I saw a Cuban prisoner. I asked, "Why are you running from the cops?" He said, "I'M FREE AT LAST!"
DB: I'm the only shotgun with more than 1 barrel!
Lancaster: Are you sure about that?
DB: huh?
Lancaster: I have 4 barrels!
DB: WHAT!?
Penta Barrel: I got 5!
DB: *insert becoming uncanny*
Dual Hexagon shotgun: I got 12!
The others: HOW!?
*and that's how an argument started.*
roses are red, unlike the rest, I'm the one who has your IP address.
Why did the orphan have to go to public school? He could not be home-schooled.
Why was the number 10 afraid?
Because it was with 9 and 11, and it makes 911.
The numbers 19 and 20 got into a fight. 21!
When my dad left, he said he would bring back the milk, but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him, and he said, "I used all the milk to make your sister."
There was a plane crash. The pilot's names were Captain Sum Ting Wong, Wi Tu Lo, Ho Lee Fuk, and Bang Ding Ow.
You're so fat, every time you go in the elevator, it goes down.
What is the difference between emo grass and normal grass?
Emo grass cuts itself.
Why can't the orphan run past third base?
'Cause the orphan doesn't have a home to run to.
"I love all mankind!" said the cannibal.