The jokes

How is the weather down there?

What's the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle?

My girlfriend didn't go to jail for loving me.

I once put the Bible in the fiction section.

Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who are they gonna cry to? Their parents?

What's the difference between an apple and an emo kid?

One falls, while the other hangs.

An Asian walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you, too, sing 'One Long Toy Cow'?"

The bartender says to the Asian, "Sorry, I don't speak Chinese."

Your mama's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, it said, "Viewer discretion advised!"

Why did the Italian cross the road?

C'era un uliveto.

What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.

If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... That'll give you a reason to get up in the morning.

What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?

Pizza won't cut itself.

Why did the joke cross the street?

How do you get an orphan to go to sleep?

Tell them their parents are waiting when they wake up.

I was digging outside and I found my child's old toy, so I ran to find him, but I could not find him, so I was searching for about 6 hours, but then I remembered why I was digging......

I asked a man if I was the fastest gun in the west. He said my 17 wasn't good enough. After that, a lot of lead went into his head.

A little girl said one day, "Grandma's gonna die tonight!" The next morning, the girl's grandmother's body was found.

That day she said again, "Grandpa's gonna die tonight!" Sure enough, the girl's grandfather died and his body was discovered the next morning.

That day she said, "Daddy's gonna die tonight." The girl's father was terrified. He lay shaking the entire night. Somehow, he survived until morning. His wife came into the room crying. He asked her why she was upset and she said that the postman had died last night.

What's the difference between a bird and a kid on the roof?

The bird can fly off the roof.

What was the name of the Mexican that lost his car?

Carlos.

I went to the mental hospital. I asked one of the kid what its favorite animal was. They said a bird. I asked for a reason. It's because they both jump off roofs.

A little riddle...

Trump has it short, Kennedy has it long, the Pope has it but he doesn't use it, what is it?

...

Obviously the Surname, what are you thinking about you pervert?