The jokes
A kid calls out for his mom one day while he is in the tub and says, "Mom come quick! I'm walking on water!"
And the mom runs in and says, "I knew evon whatent yo daddy! I ain't never slept with him a day my life!"
"Batteries, batteries, who the batteries in your remotes and everything else you got in your house is turned upside down?"
My doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15. Problem solved!
You know the phrase "one man's trash is another man's treasure"?
Great phrase, bad way to find out you're adopted!
Why did the emo kid hate the tree?
It left him hanging.
Where do cows eat lunch?
In the calfeteria, dumb butt!
The first thing the emo did at the party is to pin the gun to their head.
America: "WE NEED MORE AMMO!"
Japan: "We are the ammo."
Hey, did you hear about the kidnapping?
"No."
Yeah, but then he woke up.
Why are Christmas trees banned at the mental hospital?
They would hang themselves like ornaments.
What do the people in heaven that died on the Titanic call the Titanic? The Dietanic.
Yo mama so fat that every time she takes a swim, the Arctic sinks by a mile!
What’s the difference between a normal kid and an Emo?
When you feel an Emo's arm, there’s lots of texture! Feels great, too!
Me: Mom, can I have some makeup?
Mom: No. You are beautiful just the way you are.
Me: So that’s why you wear makeup?
Yo mama so fat, she can’t even fit in the living room!
Were you born on the streets? Because that's where most accidents happen.
Why did the joke die?
Because it's a meme!
What is the difference between a hooker and a feminist?
If you want a hooker to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
"Simon says touch your chin."
The fat people be like, "Which one?"
So I went to a church and I asked a friend, "Is the picture on the wall Jesus, and does it have three nails or one nail?" Oh wait, that's not Jesus, he is not doing the T pose that he invited.