The jokes
Why do orphans prefer IKEA to the Home Depot?
Because the Home Depot provides supplies for *a* home. IKEA just provides furniture.
How do you break an orphan's wall in their room in the orphanage?
Tell them to put a tally on the wall with a pen for every second their parents are missing.
You guys know the notes A Minor and D? I really like putting D in A Minor!
What's the best finger for fingering A minor?
Royal aka ZEPHYR gets cucked daily by Tyrone.
ZEPHYR watches Tyrone give his wife the genes he could never give her. What a loser.
My brother said, "Bruh, why you so ugly plus why do you stink?" Me: "Is that supposed to be a roast? I got one for you. Why do you look like you came out the wrong side of your mother? Instead of her stomach, you came out of her butt. That's why you were born with brown spots on your head. That's her poop, you stupid fuckface." My friends: "Ouch that's gotta hurt."
"INNOCENT! THERE IS NO WAY TO PROVE THAT THE GIRL WAS 13. It doesn't matter what texts he sent. There is no way to prove that the girl was 13, or the fact that it was a girl. Failed sting operation."
People always told me to open doors for elders. So I opened the plane door 5,000 feet up in the air for a grandma.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away...
Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.... 🥵🤣
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine! Lol.
What did the traffic light say to the other?
🚦🚥🚦 Stop looking, I'm changing!
Mommy, Mommy! Are we dragons?
Shut up and don’t breathe on the drapes.
Mommy, Mommy, are you an archer?
"Shut up and keep the apple on your head still."
Mommy, mommy! Are we drug dealers?
Shut up and cut the coke.
When the teacher says she'll call your parents but you're an orphan.
"Mommy, mommy! Are we janitors?"
"Shut up and pass me the mop."
Mommy, mommy! Are we bank robbers?
Shut up and pass me the note.
Why was the apple 🍎 sad?
Because he got his peelings hurt.
"What's your name, son?" the principal asked his student. The kid replied, "D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir." "Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked. The student answered, "No sir, my dad has a stutter, but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk."
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.