The jokes
Why did the orphan get sent to the principal's office?
Because he punched dumbos like you people!
Why are orphans not on this?
They don’t want to listen to the dumbos on here!
What did the guy tired of hearing people joke about rape do?
He killed everyone on this f#cking website.
Where was your mom last night? In the man club?
Did you hear about the emo kid in a wheelchair? Exactly.
So, when I'm about to take a shower, my mom says, "Take a shower." When I'm about to take out the trash, my mom says, "Take out the trash."
You know what the difference between Kobe Bryant and Russell Westbrook is?
He wears 0 and Kobe has 0 lives left.
Bro, my forehead is so big whenever I need to find something on it, I need the exact coordinates.
What's the difference between Autism and Gender?
Autism is on a spectrum.
Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.
Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?
Because he can't get home.
What passengers were happy that the Titanic sank?
The lobsters in the kitchen.
What do the movies The 6th Sense and Titanic have in common?
Icy dead people.
Did you hear about the cannibal who converted to Catholicism?
On Fridays, he only eats fishermen!
What do you call the American healthcare plan for poor people?
Death.
You know if you poo on the toilet at 11:59 PM...
Then at 12:01 AM, it's just the same shit, different day...
What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave? A microwave doesn't brown your meat.
What’s the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives before leaving the factory?
Two test tickles.
I didn't come into the prostitution business...
It came into me.
The other day I started watching Game of Thrones.
I told my friend about it. Told him all about the violence, murder, decapitation, gore, sex, gay sex, midget sex, prostitution, rape, paedophilia, incest, and inbreeding... And he was like: "Oh, so you're still on the first episode then?"