The jokes
Your mama so fat, the scale said, "Only one person at a time, please!"
Feminists think men hate them. MEN HATE FEMINIST KARENS. We already have equal rights. It wasn't always like that, but that was in the past. So, fuck feminists.
(Like if you hate feminists.)
What's the best cheese in the world?
Dick cheese.
How do you get an emo kid out of a tree? Cut the rope.
When I wear all black, I'm not emo. I'm a rainbow, 'cause I'm wearing all the colors. #Science
What do you call a Chinese man in the heat?
Boi Ling.
Go on the quintillionaire morning routine now!
1. Wake up. 2. Take a shit. 3. Eat. 4. Get out of bed. 5. Have breakfast.
What's a reversed exorcism?
It's when it's the demon who's telling the priest to get out of the child's body.
What is a reversed exorcism?
It's when it's the demon who's telling the priest to get out of the child's body.
I bought my son a trampoline. That little a**hole stayed in his wheelchair the whole day.
Why couldn't the rape victim run away?
Because she was dead.
Yo, your hairline over here lookin' like the Nile River.
Yo, hairline been missing so badly that the police had to put up a wanted poster for it!
Yo hairline so far back, it oversaw the creation of the earth!
The other day, I walked up to someone who looked lost and he had all scraggy clothes on. I said, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents, buddy."
What do Priests and School shooters have in common?
They both blast little kids in the face.
What was going through the heads of people in Manhattan witnessing 9/11?
Tower 1...
What is the difference between a condom and an orphan?
One of them is used.
"I put the tin foil in the microwave, ma!"
What did Michael Jackson say to the child sitting on him?
“Just beat it! Just beat it!”