The jokes
Why do orphans always have the newest iPhone?
Because it doesn’t have a home button.
What's the difference between me and my mate...
I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.
What’s the best part about being a circumcision doctor?
The pay is good and you also get to keep the tips!
Why do orphans cause trouble at school?
So the teachers will call their parents.
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
They drop FIRE TRACKS.
What'd the farmer say when a coyote killed and ate his rooster?
"No, you ate my cock!"
What did the farmer say when he saw his chicken cross the road?
"No, my cock!"
The fool says in his brain, "There is a god."
A disabled kid kept throwing up in class.
So I threw him out the window!
What's the difference between someone with dystonia and someone with misophonia?
One makes the annoying noises, while the other hates the annoying noises.
What do the initials "MAD" stand for?
Mothers Against Democrats.
Why did the person get fired from the calendar factory?
Because they took a day off.
I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.
It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!
Why was Sonic fast?
To be rolling around at the speed of sound, got places to go, gotta follow my lead.
With the sentence "Die in Hölle," you can buy shoes in Germany.
Q. What's the difference between Trump and a Teletubby?
A. The Teletubby is a lot more coherent.
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?
Because he wanted to drop higher bars!
I love all races, even the bad ones.
Why did the rapper start a gardening business?
He had mad ROOTS in the game.
What did the captured Germans say to the French in WW1?
"Verdun for."