The jokes
What's the favorite song of an Emo?
"Chain Hang Low."
Please welcome Mozart's The Magic Flute...
In A minor.
Why was the snowman looking through a bag of carrots?
He was picking his nose.
Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing!
I remember waving at this guy in the street. The a**hole didn't wave back... Come to think of it, he was also swinging around a weird stick.
What did the shirt say to the pants?
Belt.
I got my daughter a trampoline for her birthday. The ungrateful bitch just sat there in her wheelchair and cried.
Yo mama so fat, she didn't just cross the border; she crossed ALL the borders.
Short version: Yo mama so fat she touches every border.
I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin.
The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.
Why are cigarettes good for the environment?
They kill people.
What is the toughest thing about living a vegan life?
Getting up at 5am to milk the almonds.
What did the North Tower say to the South Tower in summer?
"Are you ready for fall?"
What's the difference between a Black person and a White person? Nothing, are you racist?
I said to the fish, "I have dam."
Not a joke, but this needs saying. Please can someone do something about all the pedo posts on here. It’s honestly just nasty.
What the hell dam, hell dam?
What do you do after raping a deaf mute eight-year-old girl? Smash the little bitch's hands with a hammer so she can't tell her mum.
My teacher: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Me: Demon Slayer.
My teacher: Why?
The quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!
Your mama so fat when she stepped on a scale it said, "Ma'am, take the bowling ball off of the scale!"
If you're American when you go in the bathroom and you're American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European.