The jokes
"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.
“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.
The orphan also had to cry because the cartels called him "homie."
I asked the orphan if he wanted to watch all the Tom Holland Spider-Man movies with me, and he started crying.
Why were the terrorists upset on 9/11? bcz 1 of the 4 missed its target.
The orphan turned 18, but he was happy because he didn't have to pay rent to his parents.
The orphan's best friend wanted to meet his family, so he took a selfie.
Why is the orphan happy when he wakes up from a coma?
Because there is a family reunion.
Why did the school shooter earn extra points?
Because he was on a kill streak.
"Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.... All the king's horses and all the king's men, COULDN'T PUT HUMPTY TOGETHER AGAIN."
"Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all
Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock
when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all"
Anyone else finding the hidden horror in these?
Why do more men than women support abortion? So they can keep raping women and the victims will just abort their kids to not have to relive the experience!
I killed a homeless dude, now she's at the funeral home. 😭💔
A Russian, a Brit, and a terrorist are in an air balloon.
First, the Russian says, "I dare to throw a stone down!" So he does that, but the others don't seem to be impressed. So the Brit says, "I dare to throw a brick down!" So again he does that, the Russian is impressed, but the terrorist laughs and says, "I dare to throw a bomb down!" So he does that and everybody can't believe what they have just seen. So a bit further, they land, and a shocked and afraid little boy comes running up to them. So they ask what happened, on which the little boy said, "I farted and my school exploded."
Two cyclists stop on a bridge. One cyclist says to the other, "Can you see that forest over there?"
The other says, "No, the trees are in the way."
You know what they say about 9/11 jokes?
The second one never lands as good as the first one.
Why do cheetahs have spots outside of their bodies?
Because they don't have them on the inside.
My favorite animal is a cheetah, so I hope the jokes are good.
Why did America lose the chess match?
They were down 2 towers.
I was high in high school, but not as high as the people jumping from the buildings.
What's an orphan's favorite game to play on Roblox? The game Adopt Me.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common?
They both eat plastic. (I'm sorry to the lesbians out there; this is a joke, not real.)