The jokes
What did the blind kid get for his birthday?
I don't know, he still didn't look.
I was raped everyday for years. I can still smile. I hold the record for the widest asshole.
Why did the terrorist not go undercover?
Because he blew it!
Why did the gym close?
It's because it just never worked out.
I watched a documentary called "Redline Carrera: Birth of the Memes." It all started with Paul Walker.
Who is the world's fastest reader?
The Twin Towers, they blew through 86 stories in 5 seconds.
Why did the Twin Towers get mad?
They ordered pepperoni pizza, but got plane.
I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...
I used to be emo.
I burnt down an orphanage and then showed an orphan the orphanage that I burned down, and he loved it. Not really, though.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple's actually get picked.
What falls first, an apple or an Emo kid?
An apple, because the Emo has a rope holding them.
I saw an orphan in the grocery store and asked him, "Where's your mom?" and he cried. Why?
The school shooter: "I finally found you worthless crybabies!!"
The Quiet Kid: "How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same?"
The school shooter: "I don't know."
The Quiet kid: "When you pull them out everybody wants to be your friend."
Today I went to get a sub, and they asked me if I wanted all vegetables. I said no, leave some for the rest of the customers.
Why did the prostitute lose all her money?
Because she got f*cked.
Yo hairline so ugly even Bob the Builder said he couldn't fix it.
An eight-year-old girl struggles to breathe as she lies on a hospital bed and waits for the doctor to come. After the doctor comes, he pulls his cock out of her mouth, and she can breathe much better.
Who are the best at bowling?
Terrorists, they always throw strikes.
Apple created the iPhone X for orphans because they don't have a home.
Why were the Twin Towers angry?
Because they ordered pepperoni, but they only got plane!