The jokes
"Wubba Lubba Dub Dub" is one way to describe how my inner child acts, but yesterday I killed them. Now I hear "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," I’m drowning in the tub.
Where did Sarah go after the bombing?
Everywhere. 💀
I hope all of you had a great merry Christmas, a happy Hanukkah, a good whatever you celebrate! I got so much this year, over $300 of fishing gear, a small 2011 coin mint collection, some coins from the Nazi party, a remote control car, 100 dollars, and more. Say what you guys got in the comments.
A Scouser at ground zero just after the twin towers fell asks a passer-by, "What time is it, mate?"
An American replies, "That's a mad accent, where are you from?"
The Scouser says, "Liverpool."
The American says, "Oh, what state is that in?"
The Scouser looks around and says, "About the same state as this, mate, but what time is it?"
Why did the snowman say, "Good day," to the sun?
Because it was afraid to melt away by the sun.
Meaning behind the German flag: 🇩🇪 Black: culture Red: Beer Yellow: Sausage Blue: Winning world wars.
When does the slowest person go as fast as a train?
When he is on the train.
Jeff crosses the US border.
The second he crosses into the USA, a guy comes up with a gun.
Jeff: "That's what I was expecting."
What is the worst tool to play when playing the game “Icebreaker”?
The Titanic.
Yo Mamma's so fat that she falls from both sides of the bed.
Girl, you are so ugly that when you look in the mirror, it shatters, more than your relationship.
What's white but not black, and red all over?
J. K. Rowling after attending the world premiere of the next Matrix movie.
Why did the bus cross the road?
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just can’t help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.
What's the twin towers' favorite football team?
New York Jets.
Why was the orphan so successful?
Because people always said, "Go big or go home," and he only had one option. 😂🤣
What’s the difference between a basketball player and an orphan?
One has a home to run to.
Teacher: Okay class, look at the person to the right of you and describe them with one word.
Me: *looks to the right of me and sees the pick-me girl* "Penny."
Teacher: *shocked* How is she a penny?
Me: 'Cause she's two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants. Not to mention worth practically nothing.
Why did the snowman melt?? It had a melt down! 😭😭
Why can’t the orphan play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.