The jokes
This kinda reminds me of when my mum was feeding me. She always used to say, "Open wide for the delicious plane."
This is why they don't want to sell the Double Manhattan in pubs anymore.
What did the lady say when she sat on Pinocchio's face:
"Tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth!"
Did you know the F in orphan stands for family?
(There is no F in orphan.)
The best part about Poland 🇵🇱 is that the police lights are different.
The E and F in Orphan stands for Every one in their Family.
Me: yep they definitely have one 100% 💯
I went up to the blind kid and said, "Can you get that for me?" and he said, "I can't, I'm blind." And so I said, "I see."
🎆 New Year's Eve
Lil Johnny👦: "Every year the same, people always have to start banging before midnight!"
Mom👱🏻♀️: "Johnny, would you please leave the bedroom now?"
Dad👨🏻🦰: "Son, if you don't leave, it'll bang on your head!"
In 2023, I hope we all get wiped out like the dinosaurs.
How do you get black kids to stop jumping off the bed?
You put Velcro on the ceiling.
How do you get the black kids down?
You invite the Mexicans over.
What do you call the middle of a penny?
A center (get it? Cent-er).
Who is always looking spot on?
The cheetahs.
A Middle Eastern man comes to the states to do a stand up show. He starts by saying “2 Jews walk into a bar, NOT IN MY COUNTRY!”
Which book takes an extreme turn and has an incredible plot twist?
- The math book. Suddenly letters appear in the calculations...
I put the Christmas balls in my sack.
I was sitting in class when my teacher said, "Have any questions?" the suspended Class clown said, "Who's Joe?" So the teacher said, "Joe who?" So the clown said, "Joe Mama!" So I said, "What in the BALLS?" So I ended up staying in detention with the clown, ah, so cozy!
Knock knock. Hus dare? Luke. Luke who? Luke through the window and you'll see.
I thought it was polite to open the door for a lady, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.
I got detention one day. I don’t know why; I only slapped the emo kid on the wrist.
Your hairline is so far back it was friends with the dinosaurs!