The jokes
Q: Why can't Asians play baseball?
A: Because they ate the bat!
Why do fat people like food?
The more the merrier.
What's the difference between a brand new Oldsmobile and a brand new Raping?
...Rape.
The daughter of an incestuous pedophile goes into the living room where he is watching TV and asks him if she can borrow the car that evening.
"Sure honey! If you suck my dick!"
So she gets down on him but something is wrong. She pops her head up and says: "Dad! This tastes like shit!"
"Oh yeah, I forgot," says the father. "I already gave your brother the car for tonight."
I heard that the numbers on the front of your credit card represent the number of minutes until you meet the π love of your life!π
And the 3 numbers on the back represent the month and day you make it official!!
Comment those numbers to lock it in!!π
Teacher: Alright class, let's sing our ABC's!
The gay kid: LGBTQRSTUVWXYZ
Why is the USA so bad at chess? It already lost 2 towers.
I bet you eat your cereal with water because your dad never came back with the milk.
What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, he still hasn't opened it yet.
One time I was with my uncle. He said to me to pass him the marble on the floor. All I heard was my butt clapping with his sausage.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to celebrate their marriage.
Nine months later, they happily had some use for their baby carriage.
Two years later, they went up again, then their daughter had a brother.
But one little secret that no one knew was that Jack and Jill share a mother.
There's nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
What caused the Great Depression? A lack of comedians.
I prank called someone saying, "SON! IT'S ME, SON! I'M COMING FOR YOU!!!" My friend next to me asked who I was calling, and I said, "the orphanage."
Whoever said white people can't jump obviously hasn't seen the 9/11 footage.
One time, little Johnny was watching TikTok, and he saw a toy that he wanted so badly, so he cleaned up the whole house and did his homework. When he was done, he saw a spill on the table. He went to the sink to grab a cloth, but when he came back, it was gone. He went to his mom's room and saw a drink with the label "daddy's drink," so he drunk it and said, "It's daddy's; he won't mind," and all day he was like the Flash. So he went back, turned the bottle around, and it said "Speedy," and then he said, "Oh, great heavens!"
Why does an orphan use water for his cereal?
He is waiting for his dad with the milk.
I said to the emo girl, "She gets jealous every time her phone dies."
Yo mama so fat, she went outside and became the sun.
Anyone remember the following?
Yo momma is so fat, when she fell I was not laughing, but the sidewalk cracked up.