The jokes
Want to hear a joke? Just look in the mirror!
Damn, that beat dropped harder than my grandma falling down the stairs.
Roses are red, violets are blue, by the way, I have the flu!
Mom asks, "Why are you are THIS show??? It's DISTRACTING you from SCHOOL!!!!!"
The child says, "Don't you mean SCHOOL is distracting ME from this AWESOME show?"
Mom whispers, "Oh, you DEAD."
Mom asks, "Who are you talking to?"
The child said, "A mistake."
Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't wanna say this, but I have the flu.
You were sad because your grandmother died.
The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
The apples get picked.
My cousin’s friend spelled “racist” wrong and when my cousin showed me, the first thing I said to my cousin’s friend is “Go to Grammarly. They REALLY teach you spelling.”
What's the quickest way to go to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
Are you twinning today? Because The Rock would be shocked!
You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."
You were supposed to be born in the tree.
The sticks were your siblings.
The Twin Towers ordered Little Caesars, but instead got Dominos.
Why couldn’t the dinosaurs talk? Because they were dead.
Do you know what the hardest part of school is?
What's the difference between a toaster and a ten-year-old Chinese girl? A Japanese soldier would regret sticking his d*ck into a toaster.
Don't turn the toaster sideways, worst mistake of my life.
What's the best way to get an emo out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
Why can't Mexicans play Uno? Because they steal all of the green cards.