The jokes
I don't understand why people hate it when they hear a dad joke. They are actually pretty funny, and I will show you Y. (shows a picture of the letter Y)
Jack and Jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water.
Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
My country is so corrupt that it voted me as the most sexiest man.
Victory assured, I will continue like that till I'm six feet under.
I have a green ball in one hand and one in the other. What am I holding?
Shrek's dick.
Why were the Twin Towers angry?
Because they ordered pepperoni, but they got plane.
What place has more boys than the Catholic Church? Michael Jackson's bedroom.
You smash me so hard, I gave her the D.
Why did the duck cross the road to get some quack?
What did one ass cheek say to the other?
"Blimey, what's that smell coming from the corridor?"
Why was the American kid late to school?
Because he was too busy putting on his bulletproof vest.
What do you call a Titan who can't swim?
Titanic!
Imagine the Titanic with a lisp. It would be unthinkable. My version is imagine the Titanic with a lisp, it would be unsinkable.
What did the front half of the Titanic say to the other half when it hit the iceberg? I'm breaking up with you.
What's the difference between me and you?
Nothing, the fudge you expected ni-
My friend said, “there shouldn’t be discrimination, just black and normal.”
That was also the same guy who said [link to joke].
"Dream, yo mama so ugly, when she went in the bathtub, the water jumped out!"
READ THIS OUT LOUD:
This is this cat.
This is is cat.
This is how cat.
This is to cat.
This is keep cat.
This is an cat.
This is idiot cat.
This is a busy cat.
This is for cat.
This is forty cat this is seconds cat.
NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.
What do you call someone with notorious special needs and an extra chromosome?
The double trouble.
Are you the Twin Towers? Because you made my heart explode.
The only thing brighter than my cuteness is the fire on the Twin Towers.
When you tell an orphan, "I did your mom in your home," and they start crying.
Me: You f&*k up.
The class: Oh sh!&
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.