The jokes
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
Answer: A boomerang, because it is the only thing that comes back to them.
The towers ordered pepperoni but got plane.
What’s the difference between a pornstar covered in slime and The White Stripes?
One has "Icky Thump," and the other does "icky hump."
How did the pornstar cut herself while using a drill?
She was too used to grabbing the tip.
Q: What did the Buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
A: Bison.
What's the only time a Pentagon has four sides? When a plane intercepts into it.
What am I gonna do on the 5th anniversary of the Parkland shooting?
Shoot a load in you just like I shot those kids ;)
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to the barking lot.
Why does Johnny Sins cover his pants, but it doesn't work?
Because the long, hard thing can't chirp down.
Tell it to your parents and friends!
Why do orphans rob the bank?
Because they want to be wanted.
What's brown and white with red all over?
Terrorists when they went into the Twin Towers.
Why did the terrorists crash?
They were doing the job they loved but not getting paid.
Lol.
Why did the terrorist not get paid, but they loved their job?
They di2s drying plans.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an ugly woman?
The Twin Towers got fucked.
What is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.
When you let the school shooter borrow your pen so he doesn't kill you.
What's the difference between a car and a car?
I have absolutely no idea, sorry.
I don’t know why I’m in jail. So, basically, I was at a gun range, and we were supposed to hit the targets, even though I hit it.
“Who are the fastest readers in the world?”
“The 9/11 pilots, they did 30 stories in 7 seconds.”
"(My beard actually connects.)" "Like the connection you never had with your father."