The jokes

Why is Newton not allowed to visit local farms?

The owners know that forces come in pears.

Yo mama is so fat that when she is about to put her foot on the scale, the scale begs for mercy.

Why did the Twin Towers fall exactly at 9/11?

Because the terrorists thought that it would be fun to call 911 as a "prank."

Imagine this scenario: A doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses, diseases, etc. in the world but cooler like this: "Bumbumbum you have depression, diarrhea, and cancer,... etc."

And then the last one on the list is that he is deaf, and then the doctor shows the patient the list.

Imagine this scenario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses in the world like this: "You have depression, diarrhea, cancer,... etc." and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf.

One day a teacher says: "What does a pig give us?"

A student says: "Bacon!"

The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a chicken give us?"

A student says: "Eggs!"

The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a fat cow give us?"

A student says: "Homework!"

The whole class laughs.

I saw a kid crying yesterday, so I asked him, "Where are your parents?"

Bad move, I got fired from my job at the Orphanage.

What's Osama Bin Laden's favorite song currently?

"Under the Sea" by The Little Mermaid!

What did Dom Toretto say about the tree Paul Walker hit?

"Family strong, but not that strong."

Mom: Hey son, what does "idk" and "idc" mean?

Son: I donโ€™t know and I donโ€™t care.

Mom: Excuse me?

Son: Oh, and by the way, Mom, whatโ€™s for dinner?

I donโ€™t know and I donโ€™t care.

Why did your mom cross the road?

You were on the same side as her, and she wanted to get as far away from you as possible.