The jokes
"Buy a man an airplane ticket, he will fly once. Throw a man off an airplane and he will fly for the rest of his life."
- Sun Tzu
"The naked man fears no pickpocket."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
"It's not a war crime if you win the war."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
"If your enemy is kicking your ass, blame it on the lag."
-- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
Did you know that Americans fall out of both sides of the bed?
When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"
Why does the wind always blow from the "West" in Washington State?
Answer: Because IDAHO SUCKS!
Why are "Redneck" murder cases the HARDEST to solve?
Answer: Because ALL the DNA "Matches", and there are NO "Dental Records".
Are you the Twin Towers? 'Cause you sure upgraded.
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)
What’s the difference between apples and orphans?
One of them has a family tree.
What did the farmer say to the doll?
You death baby doll.
What's the difference between a mother and a father? The mother always comes back from the shop.
I was playing hide and seek at work the other day. Unfortunately, it ended with me in the hospital, though; ICU.
Your teeth are so yellow, when you smile, you put the sun out of business.
What's the difference between taking a shit and the Ottawa police force?
Usually taking a shit only requires one ass wipe!
What did the full glass say to the empty glass? "You look drunk!"
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
Why does Michael Jackson like spaghetti? He likes the little meatballs.
My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.
It was really heavy on me.