The jokes

What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with a terrorist.

Why did the orphan jump off of bridge?

So they can reunite with their dead family.

One like and whatever you say in the comments I'll do, but one rule: it can only be 2-4 hours in or out of Gloucestershire and South Gloucestershire.

Why did the orphan like to jump? So they can jump off a bridge to be reunited with their parents.

1 like = 10 more orphans in my basement.

What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench?

The bench can support its family.

Roses are red, violets are blue, get the f*ck out, I’m trying to poo!

Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)

Yo mama so fat and old, she is the reason the Great Depression happened.

What’s the difference between orphans and cars?

I don’t have 1080 cars in my basement.

What is the difference between a fat person and a whole pizza?

Well, a whole pizza cannot eat a fat person.

I am the orphan joke.

Yo, your hairline so messed up God said your hairline on the cross getting hit on that cross.

Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!

Officer: You OK, kid?

Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.

Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*

When officer leaves:

Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?

When you call the Middle Eastern suicide hotline, they ask you if you can fly a plane.

A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes. Eventually, the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."

A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."

Why did the sperm cross the road? ———— because I put on the wrong sock today.

What’s the difference between Hitler and Steven Hawking?

Nothing, they're both dead, one painted the walls and the other committed suicide by pressing ALT + F4.

So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.

Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.

Say "I hate happiness" without the H (all of them).