The jokes
My nan must really love the quiet game, she's been playing it for ages.
Q: What's the difference between a Hispanic and a stoner?
A: Stoners have papers.
Q: What's really long and black?
A: The line at KFC.
Use the roast I put of flat earth.
The earth was once flat... until they buried your mom.
I refuse to go bungee jumping. I was brought into this world from broken plastic, and I REFUSE to die the same way.
If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"
What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie?
“Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.”
What’s the difference between a fetus and a woman?
A fetus has more rights.
Why couldn't the blonde dial 911?
She couldn't find the 11.
What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?
The Mikey Jackson club.
How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?
M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N
Your mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale the doctor asked for her weight, not her phone number.
How do you confuse a blonde?
Tell them to stand in the corner in a round room.
On 9/11, the New Yorks lost to the Jets.
If a physically handicapped gay white male is sitting on the toilet in the handicapped stall, and if you are a gay white male that is well-endowed that is not physically handicapped, and if you want the physically handicapped gay white male who is sitting on the toilet in the handicapped stall to suck your dick, what do you do to convince him to suck your dick if you have a hard on and your horny as hell?
Put $25.00 under the handicapped stall before you put your dick under the handicapped stall.
what's the difference between an emo and an apple? the apple falls to the ground while the emo just hangs there.
Son: Dad, I had sex for the first time.
Dad: Would you like to talk about it?
Son: Sure.
Dad: Sit down and let's talk about it.
Son: I can't, my butt hurts.
What did Stephen Hawking see before he died?
The blue screen of death.
Why can't Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bat.
If anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.