The jokes

I refuse to go bungee jumping. I was brought into this world from broken plastic, and I REFUSE to die the same way.

If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"

What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie?

“Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.”

What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?

The Mikey Jackson club.

How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?

M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N

Your mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale the doctor asked for her weight, not her phone number.

If a physically handicapped gay white male is sitting on the toilet in the handicapped stall, and if you are a gay white male that is well-endowed that is not physically handicapped, and if you want the physically handicapped gay white male who is sitting on the toilet in the handicapped stall to suck your dick, what do you do to convince him to suck your dick if you have a hard on and your horny as hell?

Put $25.00 under the handicapped stall before you put your dick under the handicapped stall.

what's the difference between an emo and an apple? the apple falls to the ground while the emo just hangs there.

Son: Dad, I had sex for the first time.

Dad: Would you like to talk about it?

Son: Sure.

Dad: Sit down and let's talk about it.

Son: I can't, my butt hurts.

If anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.