The jokes
Me: Do you take milk before cereal, or cereal before milk?
The adult person I asked: Cereal?
Me: I take the bowl first! What do you do? Do you just pour everything on the table and then eat it?
The person: Yes.
Me: WHAT?!!!??!!
Yo mama is so fat that when she fell over, she created the Grand Canyon.
What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?
I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.
What does a middle aged man live in?
A retarded kid he keeps in the van.
My science teacher was talking about natural selection.
At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.
If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."
Q: What did people say when Kim Kardashian was at the beach?
A: Stop littering!
Yo mama so fat, she walked by the TV and I missed 12 episodes!
What does it mean when there is a man in your bed, gasping for breath and saying your name?
It just means that you didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.
I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”
My boyfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of his Honda Civic, but I refused. If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.
Yo mama so dumb, when her computer was asking for cookies, she grabbed a cookie, smashed it onto the screen, and broke the computer.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an Aussie bloke in Bali?
Both are expert drunks, but the Aussie is 100 times better kept. Johnny Depp, in contrast, looks like a demented leader of a violent drug cartel.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an orphan?
An orphan is more capable of speaking clearly.
The last time your hairline connected was when George Washington was born.
Bro wtf is all this!?
Like fr tho none of this be funny... messed up af to joke abt sum shii that ppl go thru.
The Twin Towers ordered 3 tacos.
One was just a plane tortilla.
The other one was also just a plane tortilla.
And the third one went to the wrong address.
The north tower wanted some salted fries at Burger King.
They were plane as usual.
Q: Where do you bury the people killed in 9/11?
A: It's already done for you.
Why is the Leaning Tower of Pisa leaning?
Because unlike the Twin Towers, it can dodge!
What's the worst thing to say at a funeral? "Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"