The jokes
What is the difference between an orphan and a cat?
The cat is actually cute.
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?
Elton John is still standing.
Yo mama so fat that when she landed on the moon, instead of saying "One small step for man kind," she said, "One small step for world domination!"
What did the mongol say to his dog?
Down syndrome!
Why did the cow go to outer space?
To see the moooon!
What do orphans and apples not have in common... The apples get picked up.
I had to go to the doctor for a prostate exam. When he stuck it in, I started to squirm, so he held onto my shoulder.
I thought it was going well, until he grabbed my other shoulder as well.
I rate you 9 out of 10, because I'm the 1 you need.
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay person...
It don't moan when u put milk inside.
What do you think was going through the heads of the 9/11 victims on floor 43?
Floor 44.
What's the difference between a cop car and a hedgehog?
With a cop car, all the pricks are on the inside.
Why do orphans go to church?
It's the only place where they can call someone "father."
What's black and white and read all over?
A newspaper.
What's black, white, black, white, red, white, black, red, black, then red all over?
A penguin falling down the stairs.
Are you the Twin Towers? Because I'd smash.
They are making new versions of the Star Wars films. The names have only just come out.
There is Star Wars: Attack of the Trannies, Star Wars: The Trannie Awakens, Star Wars: Rogue Trannie, Star Wars: The LGBTQ Strikes Back, and then there is Star Wars: The Last Straight Man.
Yo mama so stupid, she ate the Apple phone you gave her.
So the other day my black friend and I were working on a group project. He was so slow so I whipped him to make him faster.
What's the best thing about an abortion joke??
No one gets offended.
I'm actually against abortion.
Just go to the car wash and tell 'em you ate too much red pasta!
So I told the officer, "I can't even walk when I'm sober."